August 2012
what if someone called your phone, whispered your url and then hung up
My absolutely perfect 5 year old cousin...
Cousin: You're all invited to the Wedding!
Aunt: Who's getting married then?
Cousin: *playing with dolls* Harry, and Jack.
Aunt: Haha, they can't get married, dear.
Cousin: Why not?
Aunt: Because 2 men can't marry, it's wrong.
Cousin: Says who?!
Aunt: Says God!
Cousin: We'll I'm going to worship Satan...
Guys, Did You Notice This?
viria:
notrelevatwhatsoever:
amons-potty:
thegreatbolin:
Notice where Sokka is sitting.
Council in present day:
And what is right underneath where he used to sit?
((Boomerang, you really do come back!))
it must have been placed there when he died, as a memorial
bhaaaaa his trusty boomerang bhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;____________;
I’m just saying, if Kristen Stewart’s life and career are ruined by this bizarre cheating scandal while Chris Brown continues to make money, we have failed as a society and everyone should feel deeply ashamed of themselves.
lifewasted:
whitechocolatefarm:
what if you dialled a wrong number and a band member picked up
then it wasn’t the wrong number
earthtoalexander:
how do people come up with witty text posts all the time like did you sell your soul to satan or is there some sort of witty text post shop that you’re not telling us about
rnax:
rnax:
me seductively whispering...
me: wtf why is everyone going to bed, it's only-
me: oh
fapitalism:
my dashboard at 1 am
July 2012
The last GIF in your folder with words are your...
amdragon97:
xylam:
kneel-to-your-king:
ask-irl-loki:
askjane-foster:
Why I Love My Mother
Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Politician: ...
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.
bucklesup:
my health teacher asked for different ways to prevent pregnancy and i said “do it in the butt” and i got extra credit because no one has ever said that before
Parents: Don't talk to people on the internet.
Me: Trust me, I try to get them to talk to me all the time and they don't want to.
olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
me: falls on face trying to put socks on
“Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.”
– (via ashleymarionne)
healthylivinhereicome:
youngstero:
I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
LOL!!!
Watchandrewbreitel:
THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO ON TUMLBR
